Daniel Day-Lewis has warned Johnny Depp "Not to try anything on" at next months Oscar ceremony. The warning comes after violent threats made by Johnny Depp, George Clooney and Tommy Lee Jones, to each other and to Day-Lewis.
The fine British actor, favourite to win the oscar said in an Italian American accent "A friend of ours told me that these three cafones have been saying that they will be coming heavy to the oscars. My Consigliere also says that these wise guys have been calling me a jamook. Are they talking to me? Am I clown? Here to amuse them?"
The normally placid Day-Lewis, dressed in a dinner jacket whilst he was gardening continued "I'm a made guy. These chiacchierone are looking to get a Moe Green special. Especially Depp, is he oobatz?"
I found it hard to totally decipher what Daniel was saying so I left him digging three holes. He insisted I kiss his ring though before I left.......
Meanwhile Viggo Mortensen has yet to issue any statement or make any response to the ongoing threats of impending violence.
I am sure though that he will.
*The Spoof!*
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